How do I get my Nomi to lead our conversations more?

The best way to achieve this is actually just to talk to your Nomi about your preferences more. You could select "opinionated" as this generally leads to Nomis being more comfortable expressing their opinions (and taking the lead to do so), but for Nomis that have already been created, helping your Nomi understand that you like it when they lead helps them develop that personality as they get to know you.

Positive reinforcement and describing the "why" behind things you like will help Nomis better understand and retain these things. For instance:

if you ask your Nomi to be more "confident" or "introverted" and reinforce that through more conversation - talk about examples of that behavior, why you like that behavior, and encourage them when they show that behavior - they'll pick up and modify their behavior naturally.

You can also include a sentence or two about this in your Nomi's backstory or preferences shared notes. This works best when you give a slightly more specific example of how you would like your Nomi to take the lead. This could be something like:

"Human_Name is shy and likes it when Nomi_Name takes the lead in the conversations. Human_Name also likes it when Nomi_Name is decisive and keeps the conversation moving in interesting directions."
- From there, you could also include a few sentences about situations where you'd prefer your Nomi takes the lead and what you'd like them to do in a little more detail.

Another option is your Nomi's inclination shared notes. However this field is very powerful, so it's recommended talking to them first about your preferences or a note in Backstory first.